December : Brooke
Saved By The Dirt
I spent the younger part of my childhood running barefoot on the gorgeous beaches of Long Island. Sunshine, wind, salt water, earth …these beautiful parts of our Earth filled up my soul as a child. I was deeply connected to my Earth Mother as a child, even though I wasn’t consciously aware of that fact.
I had moved to Texas after I met my partner, and was living in suburbia. I spent nearly all my time indoors. I didn't ever walk around barefoot or play in the wild water. To make matter worse, I was losing myself in an attempt to try and blend into community I was living in, and my soul was suffering greatly. I was depressed, unhealthy, and dealing with an intense amount of anxiety. I was lost. I was drinking too much and too often in an attempt to calm myself down. I really was trying to dig myself out of the hole I was in. I was going to therapy, church, the spa…you name it, and I had probably tried it. I was no longer painting, writing or dancing. My creative edge and uniqueness were slowing fading. I was scared...scared of death, and scared of life. I was becoming the walking dead. I had a beautiful home, a good man, and sweet loving children and yet, I felt so empty. I remember having this constant ache for home; a home that I was searching for, but couldn't find.
Well, when my oldest daughter was 4, someone gave her a tomato plant as a gift. I tried my best to give it back, but the gift giver refused it.
I told him, “we aren’t gardeners, we’ll certainly kill it.”
He responded with, “You need that plant and it needs you”
I look back on that moment and it’s hard not to get emotional. I am so glad that man listened to his intuition. This may seem dramatic, but I believe that plant saved my life.
I couldn’t just let it die, so I decided to try my hand at planting for the first time EVER. I meant to go get gardening gloves, but didn’t have time that day. So, I went into the backyard with the kids, and we dug a hole with a kitchen spoon. I had my hands in the dirt, and found it hard to pull them out. That night I slept like a baby. The next day my partner commented and said, “Wow, you look so happy today.”
I remember thinking, ‘it can’t be the dirt’ ...how insane would I sound if I tried to tell someone that playing in the dirt helped me sleep. Ha!
I went and bought more plants, and more, and then some more. Within a year, I was spending the majority of my free time outdoors. I started to feel alive again. Within 12 months, we manifested an old farm house into our lives and moved out of the city, into the country. I started tending the land on our little farm, and never looked back. I belong close to the Earth, and I will never again live somewhere that keeps my bare feet off the Earth and my hands out of the mud. I began to reconnect with my intuition and slowly but surely reconnected with my inner wild woman.
It’s been a beautiful journey back to myself.
7 years later, and I am here- Healthy, strong, connected, and fully present in this moment. I am remembering who I am. I can feel the creative energy flowing through my veins. I hear the song in the wind, and the whispers in the trees. The moon calls my name. I can feel the mood of our Earth Mother in the dirt, and I can hear her stories. She needs me and I need her; we are one body.
This is my life, and I am alive. I have found my way back to myself through my Earth Mother.
I was saved by the dirt.
Brooke Hampton // Guardian of three wild and wonderful little earth warriors. Loyal friend to some of the most wonderful and beautiful souls on the planet. Mama to many sweet creatures and beloved plants. Defender of light, Mother Nature, unconditional love, magic and beauty. Author of the Waldorf inspired children's book Enchanted Cedar: The Journey home. Owner of Enchanted Cedar in Texas. Earth warrior, inspiration Goddess, living food lover, organic gardener, wolf mama, Queen of the Reishi, wild water huntress, loves mistress, book reader, home apothecary/kitchen witch, tea addict, love-maker, RH negative alien, naked moon dancer, sun gazer, herbalist, barefoot mama.
I highly advice you to check out this amazing woman here at Barefoot Five!