July : Amber
Own your truth like a Goddess.
It ain't easy to surrender the seeming need to be loved. What will happen if you embrace and admit the TRUTH? Some will kinda' get it, some will judge you, some will even hate you..... but you aren't talking to them anyways. Are you?
Don't let the doubters discourage you, or the possible judgements deter you. Sharing your truth is a powerful gift! Not everyone is ready to receive it for the beauty that it is.
When you give from your heart without fear of judgement, miracles happen and your soul blooms and the light in your eyes dazzles and those that are meant to be drawn to you are. Keep sharing my sisters!
Keep sharing your LIGHT and your TRUTH, even the darkness and the thick of it needs a voice too.
Give voice to the pain and the rage and the passion.
Give voice to the roar of your heart and the scream of your mind. All has value, when you can "real-eyes" and own the power of the TRUTH and the truth of your Whole self.
You are magnificent and Mighty. You are miraculous and Divine.
Own all that is you because it's time and no matter who hears you, know this, you are LOVED....... not because you need it, but because you feed it. You feed this LOVE by being willing to live in your Truth. You feed this LOVE by blooming your heart and opening your eyes to the surprise that is the Goddess in YOU.
On that note I desire to share a poem I wrote…….
I know you can do this, because if I can any woman can....
I spent a lot of time for many years and cried an avalanche of tears trying to figure out how I fit in and win at this game called life.
I gave up and tried again. A hundred times ... a thousand then....
When I realized I couldn't win, I curled up within and vowed to forget who I am.
Into the darkness I dove.
The depths of my story I wove as my mind seemed to come unraveled and my world fell apart.
To my knees I fell. Bleeding heart in my hand.
I thought that I would never rise again...
Yes, I have known the depths of despair, the spikes of anxiety and the piercing of judgements spears.
I struggled hard for many a year
Fought like a caged bear.
Doubted I could ever rise from the pit of my fear.
Until one day I realized I had nothing left to surrender.
I had been pulled undone and withered to cinders by the clashing of swords that I stabbed into my own soul.
My mind and heart locked in an epic tug of war.
A struggling battle between what I felt and desired and what I knew, I needed to, had to, must, aspire too...
What does it even mean, this thing, we try to strive for, need to be for someone else, for "them" does anyone even know who "they" are and how anyone ever "fits in" ?
How did we get this far into this madness of needing to be something, so that someone can love us.
I see it now. I saw it then.
Myself in a puddle, dripping within from the tears of trying to pretend.
Who am I?
Am I dead?
Who will I be without their ideas of me?
Who must I become?
I am tired of feeling numb.
I think I might like to fly...or become something more.
What's in store for a woman who has lost her light, forgotten her sight, pulled down deep like a shadow in the night.
Perhaps if I just sit here and listen something with come.
Wait, what's that…beating like a drum, warming me back, no longer numb.
Is it my heart I hear and feel?
It must be, here inside of me.
Here to set me free.
She calls my name in melody, in rhythm in time.
I feel myself opening, my wings wet, my heart heavy and hungry to sing a new song.
The dawn is warm upon my breast.
I tell my mind, be still and rest.
My heart is born anew today and she has so much to do and say, to play and be and bloom into.
I feel my joy rising.
I feel my heart smile, like a child.
I can do this, whatever this is, this is Bliss!
This is good.
I can hear the song I never understand before but now I feel her in my bones, my core.
I love this! I want more.
Heart beat, like a drum.
Call me home and let me become my Own.
You are my leader now, my light.
The friend that wakes me from that awful freight and shows me now my inner sight.
I can see into this Love that is you.
I can see the most amazing view of every shade and hue.
You are a Goddess, a Shaman, a Gift to me and all I share you with.
Thank you Heart for waking me from the dark of what seemed such a desolate dream and yet it was that darkness that brought me to you....
So yes...yes. I thank the darkness too.
And in embracing both of you I am made whole.
I am made new.
Today I rise and stand in My Full TRUTH.