May : Lauren
Write this down, stick it everywhere, get it tattooed on you, whatever you need to do to remember this. No one is holding you to a version of yourself. One of the mother freaking gems of this life is being able to experiment, expand, retract, explore, grow and evolve. Whatever gets you closer to your truth.
I have to admit, not even a year ago I couldn't imagine me sending this message to world, let alone believing it and living by it. But today, these words are a daily dose of medicine to my aspiring soul and curious spirit. They are a constant reminder of what to do to be who I want to be and the roadmap to living my purpose.
Let me take a few steps back. I remember a time living my life with these constant sparks of things that excited my soul. They were quite obvious, but often I ignored them. This is sort of how it played out:
I would get a spark, I would instantly think of the most “far fetched” idea associated with it, deem it “silly and impossible” and therefore put it on the “impossible/fantasy shelf.” This mechanism was my go-to because I truly believed that I couldn’t change, or pursue anything too “outlandish” because I was who I was and at a certain point you lose your window to explore yourself.
At a certain point I fell into depression. I didn’t feel myself. I felt trapped. I was using my mechanism so often that I wasn’t evolving. I was stuck in an old version of myself that desperately needed to grow.
It wasn’t until I started exploring small interests in my personal life, ones that didn’t need to be so known to everyone (like celebrating my menstrual cycle with cloth pads instead of tampons,) that a shift began to happen. Once I started getting a response from within “I feel so me!” and from the universe “here’s more..keep going!” the more I explored each desire with less fucks about what anyone else thought, because I finally felt like I was truly living within myself. It wasn’t until I stoked those sparks that they became a huge pit of fire at my center, and I caught my reflection in the flames. Within that, I realized that growth and change itself, is a huge part of my truth - and absolutely necessary in order for my health, happiness and evolution.
And with that I realized that we can change, as much and as often as we want, so that the way we are living always feels aligned with that feeling deep deep down in our core. It is our birthright.
My days are now led by those shivers of energy that run up my spine, making my heart sing, to see where it leads me to.
So yeah, I quit a job that I spent lot of money and time learning for, that paid really well - regardless of being scared that my family was going to judge me - in order to follow that spark of doing something that makes my heart sing every day (even if it doesn’t pay in money.)
So yeah, I left behind the old ways of gossiping, and comparing and competing with other women - regardless of being scared that my girlfriends were going to judge me - in order to follow that desire of finding my place in a tribe of sisters and feel connected with women.
So yeah, I walk around without a bra, geek out about my menstrual cycle, howl at the moon and talk about Goddesses - regardless of being scared that every single person I know is going to judge me and think I lost my shit - in order to achieve the freedom I desire, and to feel like a true wild woman.
In order to feel me.
And maybe some people are judging me. And that’s ok, it doesn’t bother me like it used it used to. Like Danielle Laporte says, “When you do stuff from the soul, people really dig that shit.” Not everyone will understand you, but you will attract the tribe that does when you’re living your truth. And those who truly love you, will continue to love you and celebrate you, in any version of yourself.
Our truth is our gift to the world, and as Marie Forleo has said, by holding back our truth/gifts, we are stealing from the people that need it most. Which is why I lead to inspire other women to follow their desires in order to live their truth. Because the world needs more of them.
Lauren is a VT native currently living in NYC. Her passions for learning and helping others leads her to work such as massage therapy, holding space for online sisterhood, and helping people turn their world changing ideas into projects. Her driving force is her passion for inspiring and supporting women in getting real about their desires and using them to live life that is uninhibited, wild and ecstatic, while also leading them to live healthier lives.
Her astrological profile sums her up quite perfectly - she’s has the loyalty and earthy vibe of a Taurus, the curious spirit of a Gemini, and fiercely loves being in partnerships in work and life, like a Libra. Oh, and she’s bestie’s with her inner child.
In her free time she’s off going on an adventure, finding a place to post up in her hammock, sipping wine, reading a book, playing in the kitchen, dancing to bad hip hop from her teens or blissfully eating a divine meal - probably asian. You can follow her happenings over on Instagram and Facebook.